“Her Smile So Lit” The almost final chapter. Chapter 34.
As I was roused from my unconscious state by “Take My Breath Away” I felt as though something had been shared during my impairment.
My whole life started
from a bottle of tequila
My moms and pops
Went out drinking
They caught the fever
Did the nasty
And guess what happened next?
9 months later I was born
Sucking on my mommas breast
A verse I wrote when I was about 18 years old expressing how my father and mother rekindled their relationship with each other. They had broken their marriage and on that night with my mother’s heart unguarded, their love shined through and I was conceived. I guess that’s why the name my mother chose for me from the Bible meant beloved.
I still remember the look on “Take My Breath Away’s” face as she got off from on top of me and kneeled at my side. Something happened that I suppose was not originally intended. By the disappointed look on Sebastion’s face, I believe, the deed was done.
Standing behind her observing were others although I can’t recollect them all. One of them was my friend Harley who had a bewildered look on his face. As we made eye contact he seemed to break out of his confusion or amazement. The commotion I heard that started on the left of me also captured Harleys attention and he reacted. Harley tried to intervene but was quickly stopped by the strong grasp of a man’s hand that slammed on his chest.
The hand was from a black stocky man closer to my height. He wore a backward cap and I would see him again years later in New York City at a health clinic in Alphabet City called Ryan Health/Nena in 2021. When he saw me he looked happy but the fact that he seemed to pretend he knew who I was along with a sexy Latina Woman who worked in the lobby office upset me.
My visits to the clinic felt awkward and it always seemed as though something was off and I didn’t like the vibe. Although the nurses and staff were friendly it felt as though they were all in on something and didn’t tell me. The police presence was very strong at the clinic. Still, I had a moment with some of the women that worked there but not a moment more extraordinary than with one women.
On my way out from my appointment I stepped out of the elevator into the lobby of the clinic and while making my way toward the exit a woman in a lab coat caught my attention. She was a blonde maybe around 5’6” in height and was undeniably one of the most gorgeous women I have ever graced my eyes upon. There was security near her and staff and patients occupied the lobby.
She had a serious look on her face which matched my own. As we made eye contact I had the overwhelming feeling of bliss. I could feel the tightness of my jaw loosen and break into a smile, the most profound and genuine smile I would give. Her facial expression changed and she also broke into an uncontrollable smile. We were sharing a moment, a connection that only the two of us could feel and everyone else around us could only observe.
It felt as though she was with me high on a cloud 9 feet from heaven, free from all the stresses of the world and all anxiety. The feeling was similar to the one I had when I first took the generic form of Xanax. Yes, this stunning woman was like medicine to me. She is not a doctor, she is a movie star, she is Brie Larsen and I believe they were filming at the clinic. The blissful feeling I gained from her presence stayed with me for some time and for that I am grateful.
You don’t have to take my word for it. Vibe with her yourself on her Youtube channel https://youtu.be/FVAoaQ3xxxc
It’s funny how some people can talk about having gratitude regardless of what life throws their way or what kind of circumstances they’re in. They forget gratitude is a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness by the recipient of someone’s kindness. If a gift or assistance given is insincere or feels artificial then the recipient will not have a genuine feeling of gratitude.
If I had to wake up each day in a hospital bed I would not feel grateful to anyone for that. I would however be grateful to God for another day of life and for the hospital staff’s kindness in caring for me. There are other people who I am grateful for in sharing a part of my life.
Greta who I met while working at the insurance company is one of those women I am grateful for. Greta was short and thin with a tan complexion and an outspoken personality. She was such a cute Puerto Rican gal.
When my ex-fiance and I broke up for the 1st time early on during our relationship Greta was there to comfort me. About two years later again Greta was there for me and offered me her home to stay in when my ex-fiance and I had broken up again. I stayed with Greta and her family for a few weeks and she was an empathetic listening ear who emotionally supported me.
Back in Florida, the lease of my apartment was up, I had been living there for about two years. I liked living there, the apartment complex had a small playground where my daughter could play but the pool area was our favorite place to spend our time. We passed our time by the large pool that had spacious lounge areas, plenty of shade from palms, and large grills.
The beaches were not far away living near the Oldsmar area of Tampa Bay. My father, sister and the rest of my family visited me and we enjoyed our time there. My friends and girlfriends would also visit me with their kids who also enjoyed the pool area very much.
My father talked me into moving back in with him because my rent was increasing and I would save money. I owed my sister a debt for a loan and we discussed that I should pay her first and I did. A few thousand dollars for a lengthy and expensive divorce. My father was happy with each check I wrote out to her in front of him. It took about 4 months to pay her back.
I would also pay him lower rent and he would help watch his grandaughter during the week while I was at work during the summer. The assistance was needed and very much appreciated.
A young couple, two females who had a son started living at the neighbors home next to my fathers. One was 21 years old with pretty blue eyes and short hair. She walked around the yard barefoot at times with high-cut shorts and she was quite attractive. Her partner was 22. years old and was the biological mother of the young boy. She also had her hair cut short with light blue eyes and seemed to be more of the tomboy of the two.
I kept my distance but one day the neighbor’s daughter Hillary and her husband Divon came by and I hung out with them. They were good friends of mine and Divon the husband shared some drinks with me. We sat in the front of the home which we did frequently when they used to live there. Divon was a big guy in size and laughed often with colored tattoos on his arms and dirty blonde hair. Hillary was a sweet red head who hooked me up with a friend of hers or two.
They had just recently bought a new home that Divon was renovating. I sat down on a lawn chair next to Divon and he poured me a drink and was excitedly telling me about a new billiards game he downloaded to his phone. At that moment the 21-year-old came out of the home and she sat down by Divon and me.
This was the first time I was up close to her and she was wearing a tank top, high cut shorts, and flip flops. She was well endowed with virtually no body fat and had a sexy physique. I realized how attractive and pretty she was.
“Do you have a light?” she asked.
“Sure” I replied.
We began talking and she seemed pretty interesting. She talked about her son and that’s when I learned he was her partner’s biological son. At night when it was cooler during the summer, she would take walks often with the young boy and sometimes with her partner but many times alone.
One night while I was out on the front porch she walked up to me.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey, how are you doing, are you taking one of your walks?” I asked.
She replied, “No, do you want some company?”
We talked for a while and I had some beers in the refrigerator on the back porch and I began to drink and she had maybe a 1/2 of one beer.
“Are you hungry?” I asked
“I can eat” she replied.
“I bet. Do you like fish?” I asked.
“I would love some” she answered.
I invited her inside and began to cook for her. She sat down at the kitchen counter and watched me as I prepared and quickly cooked our meal. It took about 15 minutes to chef up the meal.
She made me laugh and we were having a good time. She explained that her partner had recently been arrested and she did not want to continue being with her any longer. They had been having issues behind closed doors.
“I just can’t do it anymore with her, I feel like she does not care and we are going no where” She said in a frustrated tone.
“I bet you didn’t realize I’m also into guys” she went on to say.
I looked into her pretty blue eyes and I could see the desire she had for me in them. The friendly dinner quickly turned into something more. After that night we continued our fling and she would come to visit me at night, tapping on my bedroom window. I would pick her up through the window and into my bedroom. One day after work she met me in the yard between our homes and we didn’t even make it inside. The desire was, to say the least, intense but it would come to an end.
A male friend of hers offered her a place to live with her son. She had told me about him, they knew each other from her school days.
“I want to be with you, let’s get our place together.” she declared.
I am grateful for the time we shared. I needed her during that time of my life. Our friendship was more than just physicality. Had things been different I would have taken her up on that offer. But then there was her ex-partner and the boy. She was very attached to the boy and was planning to fight for him in court. I didn’t want to be a part of that. I also wasn’t ready to have another child and I know she would likely want to make a baby with me.
“Go live with your friend I know he cares for you. You know him well and he will help you take care of the boy.” I said to her.
She was…disappointed.
Like the song by Dua Lipa I know that beauty will find LOVE AGAIN. A few weeks later she took my advice and moved in with her friend. We did keep in contact for a time.
A few days later after my doctor’s visit at the Ryan Health/Nena clinic, I got in contact with a man through the Letgo/OfferUp application. He was interested in a pair of sneakers I was selling. He wanted to meet at a location in East Harlem which was near Metropolitan hospital.
I had a bad vibe about our meeting especially since the photo he updated was one of my old childhood friends named Eddie. Eddie was a good friend of mine and he along with our friends Jason and Louis who we called “Lou Diamond” from the area of 10 St between Avenue B and C of Alphabet City shared some fun times.
When Eddie who had hazel eyes and tan skin would holler at females who didn’t respond he would say “I don’t need her!” and we would chant him on. “Yea you don’t need her!” and we would laugh.
One day he got into a fight with his then attractive girlfriend and she stormed off.
“You don’t need her!” Jason yelled out.
“Nah, I need her, I need that” Eddie replied as he pointed at her behind which I would describe as an apple bottom.
We all laughed even harder that day.
I know this person I was meeting could not be Eddie who I had not talked to in year’s but I agreed to meet with him anyway. Maybe a familiar face would entice me to meet with the buyer he must have thought.
I took the wrong subway and got off at 96 St. and Lexington Avenue but I was supposed to meet him at 96 St and 2nd Avenue. As I took the stairs to the platform I immediately noticed I was being followed. I sat down in the waiting area by the exit. A Hispanic man who wore a Navy Columbia type jacket with a hood on was sitting and he was watching me. Another man sat down and wearing a black jacket and ski hat. He was a white man who was smiling as he opened up what looked like an expensive laptop. Neither of them spoke to me or each other.
There was a Hispanic woman and she was wearing a ski cap and had no makeup on. She was dressed down but I noticed her right before I sat down and saw the two men. She was looking at me smiling and I could tell she liked me. I however was upset due to the fact the buyer I came to meet was not there and he kept texting me saying that he was.
Then I saw him, the stocky black man with the iron grip from years before. At this point, I didn’t recognize who he was or where I had seen him before the day at the health clinic but he seemed familiar.
He was wearing a black backward cap and jacket and rushed past the seating area I was in with a white woman who had on a long fur coat. She was a brunette with long and sort of messy curly hair.
It took me a few seconds to figure it was time for me to get out of there too, there was too much activity happening that I didn’t understand.
I made my way down the steps toward the train stopped on the platform. I walked up to the train and the stocky man and brunette were sitting down inside the train. The doors closed in front of me and the stocky man had a surprised look on his face and the brunette looked upset. Plans were foiled I suppose. Maybe some good things were supposed to happen for me that day or maybe I was going to an area where I would have no privacy and watched closely as though I was some sort of trespasser.
I haven’t seen the stocky black man with the iron grip since that day but I have seen the Hispanic woman who wore the ski cap at the seating area quite often since that day. She is a Dominican woman who is a streamer and is hot like Cardi B in the video “Please Me,” a song with her and Bruno Mars. She is a fashion model who changed her name to DIOS on Instagram.
Gratitude is a most special feeling that you can help someone to have. I have written before how they come to me in 3’s and with movie stars, it was no different. From a marvel of a woman to a woman whose beauty would make you wish you had been her widow, to a woman who is so hot you might think you caught scarlet fever.
There is much that I am grateful for but that is to be written in another chapter.
