“Her Smile So Lit” Chapter. 33
I knew the record deal was coming, of course I did. Shock G called me and told me, it was great news during one of my worst of times.
“Just keep writing music, don’t stop writing the music” was Shock G’s response when I told him about the fall out between Jeen and I. Jeen was my business partner, D. J., and best friend.
I took Jeen in who is my nephew’s father when he needed a place to stay, as just a few months earlier he and my half-sister had broken up. Things went south when he wanted to get a restraining order against her and prevent her from seeing her son. I couldn’t be a part of that, I refused to allow my home to be used as a tool to keep a child from his mother, for a man’s personal gain. My position on the issue, was firm.
Jeen defaulted on his responsibility of payment for his room and board and I confiscated one of his show cars as collateral. I knew he had family in Orlando who would help him. It was a sad time for our family.
My wife and I separated before Jeen moved in and 1 week after that I lost my job. She scrambled to get a new man searching online for any random man she could show me up with. I knew she would because she always thought I cheated on her during our relationship. I never did. The whole time I was faithful from the day we met.
“Hey gorgeous whats your name, with that sexy frame?” I said to her when we first met at a car show in Orlando.
She was a sexy blonde white girl passing out flyers for a night club with her friend. She had a fit body and was very appealing. She dressed casually in a tube top-type shirt, shorts, and sandals. I felt an extreme attraction to her as she giggled and smiled at my advances while I thoroughly looked her over and was very impressed by her perkiness.
“Why don’t you give me your number so I can call you later on gorgeous?”
Her friend a chubby Spanish girl who was also dressed similarly looked at her and nodded her head vigorously in agreement.
My future wife wrote her name and number on a piece of paper.
“Sure, you’re cute!” she said excitedly.
I approached so many women that day and Jeen was having a great time with my antics and silly behavior. They all liked us and my contacts increased as I collected phone numbers and social media profiles.
I remember Jeen and I used to laugh a lot together. We used to have such a great time and this day was no different as we walked around the fields filled with people while promoting our music, checking out the show cars, and talking to the ladies.
Jeen and I stopped wherever we heard speakers blaring music to have the D. J. ‘s take a listen to my demo. They were all impressed with the music. We were making a good impression. This was before ever being introduced to barbiturates. I only used holistic highs like marijuana. I had been smoking weed all afternoon and I was floating with no worries at all.
We walked by a large RV and there were a bunch of groupies interacting with some men. From the top of the stairs that led into the entrance of the trailer was Nick Cannon he was also at the car show event promoting I believe a new movie he was in.
“If you not f#*^ing then get the f#*k out of here!” said Nick Cannon to the group of ladies standing in front of the RV.
“You know I’m f#*^ing!” hollered one of the ladies and she was escorted by one of the men into the RV. Another young lady walked off with her friend, her face red with embarrassment.
Jeen and I started laughing at the ordeal that took place. It was at that moment that I realized I was different. I would never do that to a woman, no matter how successful I became, I would not forget myself by degrading or belittling her. My father was a slick and smooth talker with the ladies but he never treated them with disrespect while I was in his presence.
On another occasion I received a call from Jeen with great news.
“Yo Texx, Fritz called me and invited us to Kriss’s club, they giving us the VIP!” Jeen said enthusiastically.
Fritz was the bodyguard of Kris Kirkpatrick of the group Nsync, one of the most successful pop groups of all time. I first met Kris at a party he hosted at his mansion in Orlando. I was selling weed at the time and I had that fire. Kris was happy as he took in the scent. Of course I gave him a very fluffy bag of the hydroponic herb I had brought to the party.
Kris is an awesome host and as celebrity goes he is one of the coolest people I ever met. He was very down-to-earth and respectful, a genuine guy who liked to have fun, and his energy exhibited meant that everyone else around him did too.
I remember watching a large brunette white girl who was a couple of sandwiches away from obeseity wrestling with this scrawny guy on the lawn on the side of the mansion. There was a small crowd gathered watching and laughing at the entertaining spectacle.
When Jeen and I went to his club in downtown Orlando we had a great time. I was popping bottles along with Jeen and my brother who attended with us.
I poured liquor from the bottle into the mouths of the patrons on the dance floor. Everybody was dancing and having a good time.
“I like your style,” said Fritz with a smile. They made us feel very comfortable.
Some ladies came with us as part of our entourage with Deliana included. Jeen and I had picked them up from Tampa which was a few hours away. They lit the dance floor up with their moves and added to the excitement.
Originally I had some lesbian dancers who were supposed to meet us at the club as part of our entourage. They were planning to do a show on the dance floor but a catfight broke out amongst them and they canceled at the last minute. That’s when I called my good friend Deliana and explained I needed her help and she brought her friends with her to the club. I always could count on her.
At the end of the night, we had to drive them home. My wife had been calling me all night and she was pregnant at the time. I had over 20 missed calls from her. I honestly didn’t think a few missed calls was a big deal, I was having a great time and I would call her soon enough. I should’ve paid more attention as I forgot to call her.
When I finally arrived home after all the driving it was after 5 AM. I parked my car in the driveway and my wife who was pregnant at the time came out of our home in her nightgown and looked furious. She charged toward my car and was yelling. I locked the car door. She then banged her hands on my car window then turned around and retreated inside. I never saw her that angry before.
It didn’t matter that I had to drive to Tampa which was nearly 2 1/2 hours of driving alone and we left the club late at closing. It didn’t matter that it was really about the music and the woman were just there to support me. All that mattered was I was out all night and did not answer my phone. In her mind, I was cheating on her. I stopped going out for a while after that. For some years actually as a result of her reaction.
It didn’t help that before the pregnancy a coworker of mine called me in the middle of the night to reveal her interests in me romantically.
“Hi, it’s Jackie I know I’m not on your team anymore but I’m calling because I want you on top of me,” she said.
I couldn’t believe Jackie did that to me, she knew I was married and I had never even flirted with her before. She used to work for me and I won’t describe her but she was not my typical type. What would make her think I was interested in her? I never once expressed an interest in Jackie.
My wife started complaining that I flirted with waitresses at restaurants when I was just being friendly. It made me feel terrible that she started to view me in this way. I was faithful to her but she didn’t believe it. She didn’t fight that much with me about it but she would react whenever she felt I was being “too friendly.”
I wanted to prove that I only loved her and I took an extended timeout from my music. I especially stayed away from performing at clubs or doing shows to avoid interacting with females. I would still go to my friend’s homes who produced music and would write on-the-spot lyrics and record features here and there, but my music was on hold.
My wife and I started to argue more not just about being “too flirty” but of other disagreements here and there and one night after a heated fight, my wife walked out on me.
After we split up about 2 months later my wife met a new man on the internet. I was sick with jealousy, and I wouldn’t tolerate it. I went after him immediately.
I drove over to my wife’s parents’ house to pick up my child about 30 minutes earlier than expected. I had no idea she had met someone new when I saw a car parked in the driveway that I didn’t recognize. It was a small compact light grey-colored car as far as I can remember. Her parent’s cars were not parked in the driveway. I rang the doorbell and there was no answer. I called the house phone and received the answering machine. I called her father and he told me he would call my wife.
Finally, she called my phone and threatened to call the police if I did not leave immediately.
“Who’s car is this!?” I demanded to know.
“None of your business!” she replied.
“Bring my daughter to me immediately!” I demanded “and tell that mother f#*<er to step outside!” I screamed.
“Our daughter isn’t going anywhere with you, the police are on their way!” She said with such attitude.
The police showed up and asked me to leave and gave me information on what courts to contact regarding being able to see my daughter.
My emotions ran high as I pulled up to a gas station a few miles from her parent’s home. I buried my face in the palm of my hands and my mind raced. What the hell happened between us? Where did we go wrong? How did I lose her love? Questions, maybe better left unanswered.
I remember before I proposed to her she wrote me a letter. In the letter, my then-girlfriend explained how much she loved me and how when we were together we made love versus having sex. She was very good to me, she was kind, she cared and protected me while I was sick. I would have done anything to be with her. At that time I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted her to be the mother of my kids.
Once at a movie theater in downtown Disney, a group of guys and girls got into an argument with my wife.
“Are you going to order or what? If not get off the line.” said my wife as the group had not even taken a step toward the concession stand where the worker was waiting to take their order.
“Shut up bitch!” said one of the guys and just like that I snapped on them and so did she.
The ushers rushed into our defense and security escorted them out of the theater after the usher explained the group was at fault for the altercation.
I yelled at them as they were being kicked out.
“I only need to make one phone call!” I shouted.
The guy who called my then-girlfriend bitch stood silent as security whispered something in his ear.
“Thanks, baby,” said my then-girlfriend.
“I got you my love” I replied. She smiled and kissed me.
“Who were you going to call?” she asked.
“Ghostbusters,” I said laughingly.
She looked so sexy to me the way she looked at me with her Auburn brown eyes and her long blonde hair which she had in curls on this night. She was fierce, like my very own “Phoenix” like the song title from Deep Valley.
I lifted my head that I had buried in my hands and looked toward the street and a car stopped at the light. It was the greyish compact car parked in the driveway of my Wife’s parent’s house. I quickly pulled out of the gas station and pulled up next to the car. I got out of my car to get a better look at this unknown man, as I could not see him through his dark tints.
He was very light skin and he had a ceaser style haircut and wore dark sunglasses.
“Get the fuck out of the car mother f#*<er!” I yelled. He didn’t budge. I proceeded to kick his car door in. The impact left the door caved in.
“She is my wife, get out of the car and fight me like a man you mother f#*^er!” I continued to damage his vehicle with punches to his window and and kicks to the car door. I could feel so much adrenaline pumping through my body with each blow I landed on the window and car door and was ready to destroy this man with my bare hands.
Still, he did not budge from his seat and started to look frightened as the impacts from the elbows and punches began to make cracks in the car window.
Sirens blared in the background of police cars quickly approaching. This “mother f#*<er” is what I will refer to him as called the police. I got into my car and quickly drove away down backroads to avoid the police.
She and that “mother f#*<er” lasted for almost 2 years in a relationship. My wife and I agreed to divorce and mediated outside of court on a parenting agreement.
My now ex-wife was not happy with the results of the mediated agreement and filed to amend the agreement multiple times and we would wind up face to face again and again. She also took me to court for injunctions which on one occasion the judge convinced her she did not need and that it is her boyfriend who needed to file one.
“Look sometimes emotions run high during a marital breakup, I don’t feel this man is a threat to you or your daughter. However, I can grant an injunction and we will revisit the case in 1 year” the Judge said.
My wife at the time agreed to drop the request for a restraining order. On another occasion, she told another judge she didn’t need the restraining order. She just didn’t want me to get into a fight with her boyfriend, that mother f#*<er.”
My friend Miranda visited me from New York City during that time and stayed with me. She cried when she saw me at the airport. It had been so many years since we had seen each other. We had planned for her to visit while I was still with my wife.
Miranda liked my home and she stayed in the back guest room. I brought her to my wife’s parents’ home to meet my daughter and wife. However, my wife did not leave the bedroom she was extremely upset by Miranda’s presence.
After Miranda’s visit my then wife and her new boyfriend who she had just been getting to know on line started dating in person.
I missed what I lost and it took me some time to get over her. I went through a depression and It was tearing me up when I saw her and while being apart from her similar to the song by *Nsync titled “‘Tearin’ Up My Heart” one of my personal favorites. At my new job with the insurance company my co-worker who expressed interest in me took notice.
“Hey, ___ do you use condoms?” asked my co-worker.
Her name was Jessica and she was a stunning Mexican gal that everyone liked.
“I pack a magnum” I replied as I reached into my shirt.
She started laughing and said, “we are going to turn you into a bad boy.”
She wound up being more of a listening ear and she was a kind and respectful person but it was so hard for me. I sat right next to her and as much as I wanted to be with her she knew I had some baggage to take care of first.
I once disappointed Jessica when she asked me to heat food for her during my break. The guys on our team watched and seemed amused. I didn’t want to look weak in front of them and so I declined. I said to her “I’m not one of these guys that’s going to run errands for you.”
The look on her face, she was disappointed and not soon after is when I started dating her friend “La Cubana Viva” who I wrote about in an earlier chapter as they had a mutual understanding.
When you are hurting sometimes you hurt your friends in the process of healing. Sometimes it can lead to poor decisions. With Jessica, it would have taken some time to get into a relationship with her. “La Cuban Viva” didn’t care and had baggage of her own with an impending divorce.
Jessica was the better choice but that’s just the way things go sometimes. Jessica wound up dating Bester another coworker of ours.
Things started to improve for me as I had the support of my family and friends at that time. I also started to see a therapist which helped me get through that depressing time. Exercise also helps immensely.
An old friend of mine from New York named Eugene got into contact with me in Tampa around 2017 while I was living with Sergi.
“Hey remember how when we were in school I was fat?” Eugene asked.
“Yes” I replied
“Well, I got even fatter!” answered Eugene.
I broke out into laughter. Eugene could always make me and my friends laugh, he was such a funny guy.
Eugene explained that he went through depression and he started working out. He now had a great physique, he found a woman to marry and had a high-paying banker job. He wanted me to start working out with him and I agreed.
Today I work out everyday and it has helped me immensely.
In an article published by Power Of Positivity on August 8, 2016, it discusses treating depression effectively. It reads: treating depression effectively does not just mean medicines. If you are unemployed, for example, and then sit in a room doing nothing as a result, this can shrink the hippocampus. So social interventions are just as important, and treatments such as fish oils are also thought to be neuro-protective.”
It also discusses:, according to the World Health Organization(WHO), an estimated 350 million people of all ages worldwide suffer from this mentally debilitating disease.
Socially working out with an old friend would be very beneficial even though I no longer suffered from depression at that time. Also, I take high doses of omega and codfish liver oil every 3 days to help my mind stay healthy.
To get over depression the article encourages changing your thoughts, eating healthy, exercising, and adopting a mindful practice.
I think I will take up yoga as a mindful practice.
Written by Frandriguez
